two: the amount of weeks it has been since I left home
let me try this again…
i have written, well have started to write, four “blog” posts thus far on my cross country road trip. as to why none of them were ever completed… welllll sleep (or lack thereof) has continuously gotten the best of me by the end of that day. i try to give myself a moment to debrief & reflect on what i have seen, learned & processed throughout my adventures every evening, but have had little success being able to write them down.
i am trying again though.
this is my first second full day off of not shooting, hiking, driving or really moving off a couch or out of bed. i have been on the road for just shy of two weeks now & i honestly have been having the time of my life. in the 3,000+ miles i have travelled i have seen three different cities, visited two national parks & have met nine new people.
*side note: my definition of “meeting” new people is having more than an hour long conversation, whether it be in a group, or one on one, that was significant enough to have meant something to you. maybe it taught you something, or made you look at an opinion from a different point of view. it is the “meeting” of a stranger who simply becomes a friend… one you might never see again, but will take part of your discussion with you in the memories of the moments you conversed, or a friend who may become a big part of your life in a way neither of you expected before that initial “hello.” either way, i have been extremely grateful for all of those i have met so far.*
i am currently in the city of Missoula, Montana & am in a hotel resting my body & relaxing my mind for the week ahead. a lot more driving, hiking & self discovery/reflection is to be expected, but i am excited for every single moment that will happen along this journey… especially because not only am i learning about others, but i am also learning a lot about myself. i love looking back each night, or whenever i get a peaceful moment (typically at a rest stop on i-90 where i have taken multiple daytime naps during 10hr drives, or in the early morning waking up in my car when it is still cool out & before i take down camp, or even just a pause on a trail when there is no passerbyers & i just need a moment to catch a breath & look up at the sun through the trees & appreciate the soft wind on my face) to reflect & be actively proud of who i am becoming. this trip of nature & adventure, courage & strength, & the genuine freedom to be happy has undoubtedly been providing me with all the materials to build a better me.
although some people will take a “better me” the wrong way… i know i am truly building myself to be a happier & healthier version of myself. i am doing the things i need to do (processing the past, letting go of things i can’t control, moving on from things that have still lingered with me, etc) & am also doing the things i want to do (facing some fears, being more open to different opinions & talking about them, being strong in difficult situations, letting myself be happy & carefree, etc).
somewhere along the way i have realized how much i am subconsciously trying to do these things as i am discovering the brain truly functions so differently when away from the home it is accustomed to with all the familiar faces & places… and, well, for the first time in my life i am starting to fall in love with the new person i am & am passionately becoming.
it has taken a lot for me to write down these thoughts & feelings... as it has shown with this being my fourth attempt to do so… but i am glad i am sharing these things & am going to continue to try to do so more often these next few weeks.
** i also know this message may be messy & extremely all over the place, but i am learning to forgive that part of myself that has always struggled to put things down on paper in a way that makes sense. english was always one of my lowest grades in school, yet my teachers always encouraged me to keep writing because they saw the “genuine emotion” i put into my work.. with that being said though, i hope my flawed ADHD thoughts can still express the message i am trying to say.
i thank you for your time if you have read this far & i wish everyone nothing but the best final days of summer. i will try to share more along my route & attempt to get my website updated throughout my trip as well (no promises though as i hardly am ever in a place where i can find wifi)... but here are the only pictures i have edited so far (also working on overcoming procrastination), i hope you enjoy them.
first & second pic taken on aug. 21 in Badlands National Park in South Dakota
third pic taken on aug. 23 in Glacier National Park in Montana & fourth pic taken later that evening at Flathead Lake National Forest just down the road from Glacier
